What’s in the box? A tiger.

Entry: Daley_Files_019

Date: Monday

Location: [REDACTED]

Name: Ethan Hobbs

Subject: What’s in the box? A tiger.

Dex promised no one else would see these, so I guess it’s okay. Though I think it’s safe to say, he sees these. He’s so weird. Anyway, he keeps trying to convince me to help him create some secret weapon. I’m not sure about the weapon part. Or the secret part, for that matter, since everyone seems to know about it. Also, it’s a box. And hey, I love boxes. I mean, if there’s a box, I want to be in it. If it’s big enough, which, sadly, most of the time, it isn’t. The best day ever was when our refrigerator died, and our new one arrived.

Here’s the thing. Calvin swears the fridge was fine. I disagree. The thing was ancient. I swear it had been around since the fifties and was built to withstand nuclear fallout. It’s not that my boyfriend is cheap…. But he is. I love him so much, but can we just buy a new garbage disposal instead of repairing it every week? Where was I? Oh, right. The fridge. It DIED. Dead. Was not going to be revived. Believe me, I made sure of it. The thing needed to be destroyed. It made weird, really loud sounds, especially whenever I tried to nap. It was evil. I’m sure of it. Dex said it was sentient, and one electric surge away from turning into a Decepticon, and I don’t think he was wrong.

Right. So the fridge, um, died. On its own of natural old fridge causes. And Calvin ordered a new one. It was delivered, and the box was amazing! It was big enough for me in my Therian form, and you bet the second it was empty, and Calvin sighed, he knew. He acts all huffy, but he loves me, so he made sure the box was reinforced everywhere with duct tape. Sometimes my butt doesn’t fit, and the box breaks, which makes me very sad. But this one didn’t! I might have stayed in there all night. Calvin called me a dork, but he slept on the couch next to my box, and it was great! I can’t wait until the next appliance needs replacement. I hear the washing machine is feeling kind of iffy.

Sincerely,

Ethan Hobbs

AKA If I fits, I sits.

AKA How to catch a tiger.

AKA Dex’s secret weapon will happen because he’s a genius.

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