Summer Lovin’

Entry: Daley_Files_016

Date: Friday

Location: [REDACTED]

Name: Calvin Summers

Subject: Summer Lovin’

I don’t understand why I need to do this stupid thing. I don’t work for TIN. Well, technically, I don’t. We occasionally get called in as backup, but not as much as Ash. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t hear from Dex every day. Mostly because he and Ethan text every day. Multiple times a day. I mean, it’s cute. And let me clarify, Ethan is the cute one. Dex is just weird, but that’s not exactly front-page news.

Whenever I see Ethan snicker or randomly laugh while looking at his phone, I know it’s because Dex has texted him something ridiculous. But you know what’s not cute? When that blond-haired menace texts my boyfriend pictures of giant boxes in our vicinity. How the hell does he even find them? I mean, has he hijacked a satellite and programmed it to find enormous boxes? Like, what the hell?

Do you know how hard it is to keep Ethan from a giant box? The moment he looks at his phone and goes still, I know that’s what it is. I can see it in his face. His eyes widen, his pupils dilate, and the tiger in him is awake. You try stopping a three-hundred-pound, seven-foot dude from taking off, especially when you’re as big as I am.

We were in the middle of a training session last week in an abandoned facility. My ass was in a tree, a tree that my partner and boyfriend helped me into so I could get a clear shot of the target, and when I looked down, he was halfway across the freaking lot! Not only did I fall on my ass trying to climb down from that tree, but I also tripped and fell into a huge ass puddle of mud in a pothole the depth of the mother-loving Hudson and just as rank.

So I climbed my ass out of there and headed for the building I saw Ethan run behind, and when I got there, he was in his tiger form and in the f**cking box!! Right in the middle of a training session! And if you think it’s hard to stop a guy Ethan’s size from leaving a room, try getting him in his huge-ass tiger form OUT OF A BOX. So screw you, Daley. Just wait. Retribution is at hand.

Sincerely,

Calvin Summers

AKA It’s all on video, and it’s glorious.

AKA You might want to get a tetanus shot, that mud was foul. It was also hilarious.

AKA I know where ALL the boxes are in New York City. All. Of. Them.

You forget I’m a sniper, right? One of these days, Dexter, one of these days. I’m going to snipe you right in the ass!

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