I'm typing away at Hunter's story, thinking about deadlines and the many other things on my to-do list, one of which is my next blog post, and I sigh. The familiar question of what I should blog about enters my mind, and I sit back wondering why I have so much trouble coming up with posts, for my own blog no less. I'm a writer, right? I don't have trouble flapping my gums in person. When I'm with friends there's no concern over what I say because they know me. They won't be offended if I give my opinion, if I swear, or go into one of my caffeine-induced hyper freak-outs. (I seriously believe I must have been a cat in a former life because of my random hyper weirdouts). Anyway, so I start to mull this over.
The thing is, I'm pretty laid back and when it comes to folks, I try real hard to remain patient. I care, and I do my best to help where I can. I was raised to be polite and respectful, to try and be understanding, to offer my opinions and not ram them down someone else's throat. Agreeing to disagree isn't the end of everything. I learned people are different. I learned the difference between an opinion and a personal attack. If I don't have something nice to say about someone, I've learned to keep it to myself, because I don't like making people feel bad. But that's me, and I don't expect someone else to be like me. I also don't expect someone else to tell me I'm wrong for being me. I believe myself to be a good person, but I have faults like anyone else.
Since becoming a published author, I've been inundated with contradictions. Get involved, don't get involved. Folks want to know who you are, folks don't want to know about your life, you should do this, you shouldn't do this, don't talk about this, behave this way, don't behave this way. The idea is that once you're in the public eye, you have a certain obligation to others, more so than to yourself. Others can express what they like about you and your work, but you're not entitled a response, unless it's in agreement or you end up on someone's shit-list. For every person with a constructive or kind word, there are two who are nasty and petty. Make one wrong move and they'll make you pay. So where does that leave a newbie like me, aside cowering in the corner?
Screw cowering, and screw the corner. No one puts Baby in the corner. Yeah, I went there.
Should I be scared to express myself? Should I worry what I write on my own writing platform? That's pretty much what I concluded. In the time I've been published, I've seen a lot of wild stuff, enough to make me hesitant on what keys my fingers press. But you know what? I'm an adult. I know how to behave in public. I wouldn't say anything to someone online that I wouldn't say to their face, because on the other side of every screen is a real person with real emotions, problems, heartaches, fantasies, dreams, and everything else I have. Anonymity does not equal impunity from being a decent human being. If someone wants to act like an ass, chances are they'll be called on it.
I might be writing into the vast wilderness of nothing, I might not. All I know, is I don't do well with being boxed in or being told what to do. I'm not the easiest person to get on with when I'm riled up, and when folks ask how much of me is in my characters, well, a little more than you think. I love what I do, I love meeting people, love talking to them, I write for myself and for others. If they love what I do, awesome, if they don't, sorry it's not your cup of tea. I'll try my hardest to be the best I can be. There's a balance that needs to be struck, but I sure as hell won't find it by trying to please everyone, because we all know that's a futile endeavor. And how boring would the world be if we all liked or disliked the same exact things?
So aside the usual author posts on writing, works in progress, updates, and promotions, you'll find posts on random thoughts and ideas, some personal some not, maybe some product reviews. I just got me a Nescafe Dolce Gusto Picolo machine but maybe that's a post for another day. You might want to get to know me better, you might run for the hills. You might agree, you might not. Feel free to join in and give your two cents or just lurk. Either way, welcome to my online home. There's a comfy couch and plenty of coffee. Spambots get off my lawn! Everyone else is welcome.